"He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." -Psalm 103:12
"Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven - for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." -Luke 7:47
It's hard to feel forgiven when the situations around you remind you of how far you've fallen from grace. It's hard to look at myself the way God sees me when I think the people around me don't see me that way.
It's such a struggle, but it's driving me to my knees to the only truth I know I can cling to - that no matter what anyone else thinks of me or how undeserving I am, I am washed, clean. As if my mistakes had never happened. And I am seen, held, and even loved, cherished.
Those people who may know better than me, be stronger than me, or wiser than me - yeah, sure, they may never have made the mistakes I have. But I take great comfort in the fact that when I sing the lines of "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me" I can mean every word. I can feel the weight of every ounce of grace that has been showered down on me.
So I might not have a perfect track record, but I know God doesn't see my sins as any lesser or greater than anyone else's because we all miss the mark.
But having 'worse' sins in the eyes of the world means I have more to be forgiven from...
more to be thankful for...
more reasons to extend grace...
and more reasons to love much.
I think there are some people out there who need to be reminded of this as much as I do.
Your scars and your past has made you who you are today. And who you are today can be beautiful. Because you are forgiven. And loved. And the love that spills over from knowing you are forgiven brings beauty.